Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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