I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
