Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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