OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
