So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
