3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
