I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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