My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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