Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you would pick up someone in the library
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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