physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
