But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
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The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
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I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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