You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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