well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
