We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
