I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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