woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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