just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
