That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
