is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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