Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
