i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
