it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize