dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
