I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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