O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
