There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
