I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
