I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
