It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
