the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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