You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
