peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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