I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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