No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so let's talk penis.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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