I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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