3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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