We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize