She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
