just tell him i said nine months
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
