you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
