Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize