i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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