first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I can't put those talents on a resume
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
