My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
