Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
