I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
