Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
