did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
