How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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