dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
