Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I love having hate sex.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
