I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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