I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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