But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
