Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
