Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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