At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
In America we eat man semen.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
