I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
