You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
