At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize