And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
