If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize