I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
